Forgiveness is not easy. Humans, being the imperfect creatures we are, most of us are called upon to practice forgiveness at one time or another. There’s a new study that sheds light on why it is something we should do. It was conducted by Everett L. Worthington Jr. a professor at Virginia Commonwealth University in Richmond. He specializes in forgiveness and in how people reach it. He says how people become ready to forgive varies but usually falls into two main categories, decisional forgiveness and emotional forgiveness. “you can experience a change in your emotions and then decide to forgive,” he explains, “Or you can decide to forgive first and experience those changes emotionally later on.” For people who are struggling to forgive or may need a push to experience it he suggests to be mindful of three evidence-based ways forgiveness can benefit our health. Not being able to forgive invites feeling of hostility, anger and stress. While forgiveness is not the only way to deal with stress and adversity, it is an effective way. Forgiveness is the opposite of the fight or flight response of the parasympathetic nervous system, it is called the rest and digest response, it slows breathing and heart rate and ends up being good for heart health. Last but not least, forgiveness keeps us from ruminating. We all ruminate, but sometimes rumination can lead to a host of psychological issues such as depression, obsessive disorders, anxiety, psychosomatic disorders. ….And so even if and when it seems unfair, it is in our best interest to forgive.
Category: Better Relations
Guns and Dicks Sporting Goods
This past June 220 CEOs wrote a letter to the Senate asking them to take action immediately to lessen gun violence. In 2019 a similar letter had been sent, this time though it had many more signatories. One of the signatories, Ed Stack, of Dicks Sporting goods, has been a leader in corporate activity against gun violence, so much so that his actions have been a case study from the Harvard Business Review. In 2018 Stack, himself a gun owner as well as a second amendment supporter, was so shaken after the Parkland shooting, that he decided to limit the sale of guns at his 850 plus stores and eliminate assault weapons. The reason for him was simple, “ I don’t want to be part of the story anymore,” he said. Dicks Sporting goods, lost money at first, but rebounded, a sign that corporate America may have more influence in controlling guns than politicians. Stack announced his decision on Good Morning America and that same day, LL Bean, Walmart and Kroger joined him. The Harvard case study attributes his success to the fact that he consulted with his executives, sought a kind of consensus and also engaged in a campaign communicating what he was doing and why. They do say however that the fact that he was the chief s stock owner as well as the CEO played a role. In an article about the CEO’s letter to the senate, the news website Axios summarized its importance by writing that not only did this letter have 50% more signatories than the one in 2019, but also that in light of Dicks sporting good experience as more companies and more CEOs take action it’s going to be harder for other consumer brands to doge the gun issue. And if that’s so then it would be a very hopeful step.
The Human Library
Suppose you could go to the library and instead of reading a book, you could talk to someone for a half hour or so. You could talk to an alcoholic to better understand what alcoholism is and does to people, you could talk to someone in a wheelchair, to a holocaust survivor… That’s the Human Library. The idea is to create dialogue and get people to avoid stereotypes or overcome them in a safe environment. In fact the sweatshirt they sell puts it succinctly, Unjudge Someone. It is headquartered in Copenhagen where it was started in 2000 by 4 young people. It began as what they call an event, in this case it went on for 4 days for 8 hours each and was very successful. Although the early years were slow, the idea took hold. One of the ways it did was that Ronni Ebergel one of its founders began the Human Library Organization which helped set up human libraries in other countries. It is now on 6 continents and in over 80 countries, including Kenya and Botswana. It’s a non profit of course in whatever country it is and it is staffed by volunteers. The books, or more accurately the people who become the books are volunteers too.
It’s such a magnetic idea. It makes one want to make sure one’s own library can participate and include human books. It’s not only that it can be a powerful and easy way to open people’s horizons and thus tear down the barriers of prejudice, it’s also that its very presence feeds our creativity. It reminds me of Ray Bradbury’s Fahrenheit 451 and the land of the book people where each person memorized a book and embodied it. We each have something to share or give based on our experience and the human library invites us to do so.
The Ethos of Work
The pandemic has accelerated something that began a long while ago, something that could be called the ethos of work. Back in the 50’s and 60’s one did what the employer wanted. Award winning movies of that era like The Man in The Grey Flannel Suit or The Apartment depict the personal sacrifices an employee had to make in order to climb the corporate ladder or even in some instances keep their job. Slowly the balance has shifted and selling out to the corporation or company that employs you in some circles has become a taboo. People want a job that fits within their ethical views, a job that has meaning. The pandemic contributed to a change in the 9 to 5 model being outdated, but it also accelerated the meaning of work. People are earning more and they are demanding more, they want better work conditions, but also they want all this within a job that fits their values and sometimes personalities. Instead of fitting themselves to the demands of the job, they expect the job to fit withing their demands and expectations. This is particularly so of millennials and the younger generation Z. There are no studies as yet that document this, yet researchers are noticing the shift. What I think is relevant is that whereas work was something one had to do and which was usually outside the main of one’s life, work now has to be more a part of oneself, has to reflect who one is. The word passion is used a lot by those describing the change, people want to feel passionate about the job they have. There are exceptions of course, compromises one willingly makes, or perhaps even people who have to accept the work there is whether or not they are passionate about it, but it does not change the trend, the movement forward that equality between employee and employer is gaining momentum.